Wrapping up the Limes

Helloooo there! Replacing the Cocktail Recipe on Friday for the next few weeks is just a ‘normal’ blog.

In my last Blog, I said that after reading Dee Blick’s Marketing book, I was going to concentrate on a few things.  One of those things is Email Marketing and I’m booked into a course where I can learn more about it, courtesy of the lovely ladies at Smart Messenger. I’m hoping to pick up loads of hints and tricks to really get those Cocktail Recipes and my Mailshots rocking.  So in the meantime, I’m just going to bore you with my random musings.

I thought as it’s Friday, I’d share a another funny.  Another Barman wind up!  Although this one is not exclusive to me – I’ve heard this go down many a time – I certainly do enjoy dishing it out.

Spending the bulk of my working career around Cocktails and Spirits, you can imagine that I’ve always used a lot of fresh fruit.  At the moment at Thirsty get through a good box of Limes and punnet’s and punnet’s of Raspberries and Strawberries each week.  Well what happens to all the left overs at the end of the night?  You know, you can never wedge up exactly the right number of Limes can you? So what happens with the leftovers?  Well we can’t waste them…can we?! 😉

I’ve only managed…or even thought to pull this off a couple of times, but it does provide many hours of ridicule after the event. This only really works in the first few shifts of a newbies career behind the stick. You have to get in there quick otherwise you lose the opportunity…

Wrapping up the Limes…

So…

The end of the night comes around and you have plenty of Lime Wedges left over that will naturally just go in the Bin. Well no, not tonight they don’t. Arm your newbie with a nice roll of Cling Film and get them to individually wrap each Lime Wedge to preserve it for use the next shift. “They have to be individually wrapped because if you just cover them in a bowl, the air will get to them and turn them brown”. You can amuse yourself for at least 20 minutes!

For extra value…make sure the Newbie is on the following morning, so they have the pleasure of unwrapping teach Lime Wedge…right before you bin them and get them to chop up fresh limes…

Cruel, but oh so funny!

 

Steve the Barman owns and runs Thirst First Ltd, a Mobile Cocktail Bar company that provides the WOW effect for your events. If you have an event coming up, Business or Pleasure, give us a shout and we’ll do our damnedest to help out. Check out; thirstfirst.co.uk

 

 

What is a Passion Fruit?!

Passion fruits are one of life’s mysteries. The simplest of fruit causes so much intrigue. Just recently, I’ve genuinely seen it referred to as a Baby Pomegranate!!

Those that know me…even only slightly, know that I’m a wicked wind up merchant. When my laugh doesn’t get the better of me, I’m the best of the best. I’ve perfected the skill over 20 odd years of working behind a Bar.

This story stems back from my Restaurant days…

One day, one of my ever so innocent, blonde (Stereotypical I know) waitresses came up to me behind the Bar and asked me the following question. I would like to point out that at the time, it wasn’t the quietest of shifts which makes this story even better.

“Stevie, what goes into an Orange and Passion Fruit J2O?”

My initial reaction was just going to be “Ice”, but my nose smelt out a deeper routed question. So instead I asked what she meant.

“Well you know, Apple and Mango J2O obviously has Apple and Mango in it. So what does Orange and Passion Fruit have in it?! What goes into to making Passion Fruit?”

So, in front of a Bar full of people and Staff, as cool as you like I replied with “it’s a mixture of Mango, Pineapple and Peach, but they can never fit that on the Labels, so it’s universally known as Passion Fruit”

How I kept a straight face, I will never know.  How the customers were instantly so in tune with the wind up, I will never know.  It was just one of those magical moments where everyone was on the same page.

Nearly 2 whole weeks I got away with that until one day Chef brought a dessert out for us to try…which had a Passion Fruit Wedge as a garnish. Well you can imagine the question that followed. Let’s just say my quick thinking and a 5ft Bar saved me that day!

Just to let you in to another quick story.  The same Waitress “lost” the Bottle Chiller doors one day.  The slidy ones come out with ease.  So after she cleaned them too well then set them aside, it took her 3 whole minutes to see that they were right beside her left leg, the exact same place she put them…

Clean Barrels

This is a story about a wind up that I’ve actually managed to pull of 3 times now and it will never get old…

As well as Cocktails, I’ve always had a heavy passion for Real Ale. Cocktails and Real Ales has a nice ring to it don’t you think!? Well, anyway. Every Bar I’ve run, I’ve always managed to have 5+ Real Ale lines in and been fortunate to have a high throughput through them. My empty barrels a week would range between 10/12 up to 30. That’s a lot of cellar work.

At one particular Bar I ran had a cellar that was outside and down some steps. We had to bring all the empties up the night before delivery day as they’d just be in the way otherwise. The first time I ever managed to pull this wind up off was the week after Fresher Week in Cambridge Uni many years ago. It was a very busy week and we had about 20 barrels to bring up. At that time of year as well, I also had a few new guys just starting out behind the Bar. I always preferred to hire inexperienced people as I could train them up to what I wanted, as opposed to inheriting Bad traits from poor Chain Pubs.

One fresh faced youngster I employed was always super keen to impress. He’d read up on Cocktail recipes. He’d be the first one in and the last one out. He’d be the first one to jump in front of guests as they came up to the Bar. To be fair, he was a legend. One of my finest protégés. But like all super keen people, they tend to be the most gullible.

One night while it was quiet he offered to help me bring up all the barrels. So we set about getting all the empties out of the Cellar and carrying them around to where the Deliveries got dropped off. Brilliant. A 15/20 minute job cut down to 5. However, after we’d finished, he innocently asked if he could help with anything else, to which my eyes lit up like Christmas trees…

Yeah I replied, they all need washing out.
Really?! He asked.
Yeah, of course. They won’t take them back dirty, they have to refill them with Beer!!

Well, never in a million years did I expect him to believe me, but he did!! Hook, line, sinker!! There he was 45 minutes later with a bucket of Hot soapy water, a deck scrubber and a hose pipe to rinse them out afterwards. I have never seen Barrels so clean before! I never did have the heart to tell him, I just made sure that he never worked a Wednesday night again…